I Accidentally Joined a Duck Worshipping Cult

by Edru Smit

Isn’t life so intriguing sometimes? One simple mistake could cost you your life; sometimes, it can lead to greatness. I happened to wander into both. I can’t necessarily explain the chain of events that lead to this point but, somehow, I may have agreed to something I would simultaneously regret but also love.

There I stood, in a queue at Kentucky Fried Chicken— look, I don’t spend much time outside, and mostly I just go out for a meal; I have a depressing lifestyle. While I waited in the line, a figure wearing a black hood approached me. Wearing a cloak and an uncanny smirk, he walked directly into my face.

Before I could even react, he shushed me.

“I see you have good taste, eating those who deserved their fate,” the being muttered.

His joyful expression was somewhat disturbing, yet wholesome? He reached into his coat and pulled out a card. It was an invitation to a certain park. Amongst the messy writing and the sea of spelling errors, I could just make out the words ‘Goosebumps Park’.

“I expect to see you there,” he giggled.

He slowly marched away, cackling, and also coughing. Eventually, while he was choking on his chicken nuggets, he tripped and fell on the tiles.

I looked at the queue, and then looked at the card, and then I thought to myself, I don’t really have anything else to do with my time … I mean, what could go wrong?

Without any hesitation, I stormed out the door and sprinted towards the location written on the piece of paper.

*

After running through the pouring rain, and having a quick break for breathing, I had reached my destination. I stood on a bench, and eventually, the same old man sat beside me.

His skinny, pale arm reached for my shoulder. He took off his hood … and wiped some dust off me.

“Eating the poor man’s duck is quite a rebellious decision. I like gutsy people who do that, but I have one question—have you ever eaten a single duck in your life?” he blurted, in a serious tone.

I immediately shook my head. I actually have, but I wanted to see where this conversation would go.

“I think I’ve found a new addition to the cult, everyone!” he announced, waving his hands around.

Behind us, there were multiple people who seemed excited to see me, waving their hands as well. All of them ran towards me and gave me a big hug. And from that day forth, I have been one of the few priests of our religion.

And I still have no idea what’s going on!