The Three Little Pigs (but the big bad wolf is polite and playful)

By Edru Smit

Long, long ago, around the time when people believed that the earth was in the middle of the universe and the sun revolved around us, close to a gleaming lake and a dark forest, there lived three little pigs and their mother.

One day, their mother told them that they were big enough to live on their own, so the three little pigs said goodbye to her and travelled to the other side of the dark forest—a beautiful landscape with colourful flowers and rustic mountaintops in the distance. 

The three little pigs decided to build their own houses. The first little pig built his house out of straw, the second little pig built his house out of wooden sticks, and the third little pig built his house out of ROCKS (not bricks, this is intentional). 

The little pigs were enjoying their creativity but, in the distance, a grey figure with a fluffy tail and sparkling eyes was approaching their small town… 

As the figure skipped closer, the pigs’ jaws dropped to the ground. It was a big bad WOLF. They all fled into their unfinished houses and shivered in fear.

“One … two … three … four! I declare a thumb war!” cried the wolf.

The three little pigs were dead silent. The wolf had declared war. They had no idea how to escape this menace. 

“Hello? Is there anyone home? I would like to play with you!” the wolf said in a small voice. 

All the pigs were panicking. They were extremely scared.

“Hello? I am not here to bother you, but I would like to—” But before the wolf finished his sentence, he was distracted by a beautiful dandelion. “It’s a dandelion! Let’s make a wish!” 

The wolf blew the dandelion and accidently blew down the straw house. 

The first pig was shocked by the wolf’s immense aggressiveness and so, without a word, he dashed to his brother’s stick house and shivered in there. 

“Oh!’ said the wolf. “My wish has been granted. A little stick house!” 

Once again, the wolf was distracted, this time by a ladybug which had conveniently landed on his snout. “Hi, little friend! I am just going to blow you off, if you don’t mind!” But instead of blowing the ladybug off, the wolf started to sneeze! “Ah… AH… CHOO!” 

The wolf’s sneeze was even more powerful than his dandelion breath, and he knocked down the stick house in a matter of seconds.

The two pigs’ eyes were wide with fear. They fled to their brother’s rock house, without stopping to say, “Bless you.” 

“Woah! My reckless sneeze has caused another wish!” the wolf chuckled. 

The three pigs were so scared that they wanted to stress eat, so the third little pig decided to make some custard and share it with his brothers. He prepared his marvellous custard in a big pot by the fireplace. 

“Oh, look! A little butterfly wants to play with me on the chimney!” said the wolf. “Here I come!” 

The three little pigs were shaking when they realised the wolf was going to make his entrance through the chimney, They all agreed that he was the most brutal overlord they have ever set eyes on. 

The big “bad” wolf was intrigued by the butterfly’s beautiful colour. So, he climbed onto the roof of the rock house to have a better look at it. As he reached the butterfly, he slipped and fell down the chimney, into the pot of custard.

“I have been blessed! Custard and friends!” he said, as he licked his lips. 

“Oh no! He is going to eat us up!” the second pig screeched. 

“He is going to mix our baconish flesh with my custard!” said the third little pig. 

“He is going to rip us to porkchop!” yelled the first. 

“What? I just wanted to play,” the wolf mumbled. “I am sorry, guys!” 

The pigs stared at each other in disbelief. “You what?”  

When the three little pigs realised what the wolf was saying, they each gave a large sigh of relief. 

The three little pigs decided to make one large house made from bricks and beautiful wood from the dark forest. They agreed to be roommates with the friendly wolf and play games every day.